Ok. Let’s bring you up to speed.
First of all, if you’re reading this: wow. Well done, you. I haven’t written a word on this site in nearly a year and a half and you’re still perking up at the sight of a new entry. Claps and applause - I appreciate your continued viewership into my experience of life.
Second: Before I start posting new entries and discuss new topics/ideas/experiences, I’d like to address the myriad of topics I’ve managed to bring up in the last 18 months in past blog posts, starting with…
Are you still depressed? Kinda left us on edge with that last entry…
You’re right, I did. And while I apologize for leaving any readers I may have “in the lurch”, so to speak, I do not regret writing that entry. It was important to me at the time to speak up as to how I was feeling, and so I am happy to keep it on the blog. What’s more, I expect there will be further entries in the blog that pertain to my battle with mental illness and, again, I am 110% unapologetic for talking about it or getting it out into the world. Stigmas surrounding the discussion of mental health - now that needs to go.
OK good. So how are you now?
Mmkay, let’s break that down into parts. To start, I’m alright given the circumstances. My life and the lives of millions of others are currently under quite a lot of strain right now thanks to the rampaging COVID-19 (see entry “Corona with a Twist of Lyme”), so suffice to say as a graphic designer, freelance or otherwise, living in Los Angeles right now is difficult. I don’t have any work, and my days lately consist of straightening up the apartment, building my new website (which you’re on - congrats! welcome!), and looking for work.
But again - everything taken into consideration, I’m alright. I’m living with my partner, the sky is blue, and full of sunshine. I went for a run earlier today and wasn’t completely winded by the end of it. I’ve just eaten a PB&J and all things considered I am grateful to have the little things right now that are keeping me going. Even if the big things like finding work and a global pandemic can make me seize up with anxiety.
Are you still fighting Chronic Lyme Disease?
Yes. Although now I refer to it as Post-Treatment Lyme Disease Syndrome. Aka, I’ve treated the Lyme Disease that was/is in my body and continue to live with the lasting side effects of it, and the other conditions it’s caused. I prefer to make this distinction - calling my condition out as P.T.L.D.S. rather than C.L.D. now because of what I see other C.L.D. patients going through, and knowing that my case is significantly better than theirs. Mind you, my P.T.L.D.S. is still very tricky to navigate and is not going out without a very mean fight, but I’m able to walk and move and function day to day, despite the pain, while so many others can barely get out of bed. That was me once, but now I’m better. And for that same reason…
Is this blog even about “Byting Back” and Lyme Disease anymore?
Yes… and no. Like in the past, I’ve no doubt that I’ll post an entry on here that has nothing to do with my P.T.L.D.S., and is just about my ridiculous life as a whole. But I guess you could say that because I’ve been living a life so hijacked by this invisible disease for so long, posts about, say, my growing anxiety (see entry “Ready, Set, Choke”) still tie back to Lyme because I don’t think I’ll ever be fully aware of what Lyme has and has not done to my mind and body as a living organism. Even now I have a post I’ve yet to finish about how I recently got to work with and meet Lady Gaga - a post about meeting a famous person that would ordinarily have nothing to do with Lyme, and yet because of her battle with trauma, PTSD and neural pain I connect and share with her my own battle with Lyme.
What are your symptoms at the moment?
Why thank you for asking. A few of my past symptoms are catching up with me lately. Namely brain fog and cognitive impairment. A few days ago I was taking an online intro class to UX Design, and as I was scribbling down notes I found myself unable to write letters properly. I simply couldn’t remember how to write lowercase letters such as ‘h’, ‘r’, and ‘q’, or how to spell the words ‘after’ and ‘design’. My fingers would stall and slide and a strange, juvenile scribble would come out on the page. Later that day I stared at a kitchen towel that had the word ‘wineries’ on it and for a solid minute I stood there unable to read it. Not great.
Other than that, physically I continue to deal with insomnia, neural pain and my body’s response to trauma and stress, all aided by my nervous system being eaten away by the Lyme bacteria. Much like when I started this blog, when I wake up in the morning it feels as though a bus ran over my legs, and most nights I lie awake with my hips inflamed and so tense it feels as though my pelvis is a cinder block. Lots of stretching before bed is necessary to combat that, and even then it doesn’t always work. And listen, I’m talking me on the floor, on the verge of starting to stretch, and my hips/legs already hurt so much that I’m moaning and tearing up. The insomnia doesn’t help any of this.
Again: not great.
What medications/supplements are you taking?
For the time being, until I can leave the apartment (#quarantine) and get my butt to an LLMD (Lyme-Literate Doctor), I’m continuing with my Samsara Herbs Tick Recovery regimen. This regimen continues to be my first line of defense against my P.T.L.D.S and helps combat a majority of the symptoms that want to resurface or are getting out of hand (ie: brain fog). I’d definitely recommend you Google the company - Samsara Herbs - and check out what they have to offer to all walks of people, not just those suffering from Lyme. They sell and ship Prime on Amazon so that’s very helpful at a time when I barely want to leave the apartment (looking at you, COVID).
Next up is the Biocidin LSF - the actual medicine tincture that kills the bacteria. Think of Samsara as the finger in the hole in the dam, while Biocidin tries to drain the dam from the other side. The Samsara Herbal formula fights the symptoms while Biocidin LSF kills the bacteria directly, and then the Samsara comes back again to help my body heal from the dying bacteria. Detoxing and supplements aid in that healing too. Unfortunately my reserves of this medication - the Biocidin LSF - got lost when I moved into my partner’s apartment, but like Samsara they deliver through Amazon - again, on Prime - so I’ve ordered more of that, despite the high cost, and am looking forward to continuing with that.
Lastly, I’m on an intricate regimen of supplements, some you’d recognize in a second, others not so much. I’ll get more into that in my upcoming post: “Corona with a Twist of Lyme”.
What about diet? Exercise?
Well, right now both are very important. I’m happy to report that both my partner and I have made the transition to being vegetarian, and I can already tell that my energy levels are higher and my overall sense of well being has improved. Obviously I’m still dealing with A,B and C, but before I made the switch there was a handful of problems I was dealing with (including some wicked IBS brought on by painkillers I was taking thanks to a car accident last March). And all of those problems, namely the IBS, went away with the vegetarianism. And right now, with Lyme and COVID my body needs to be as healthy as I can get it to fight both.
Exercise - I do it when I can and when my body feels able enough to take it on. Like I mentioned, I went on a run today and have been doing my best to do an at-home weightlifting routine. Keeping my body strong is imperative, and before I was confined to my apartment by COVID I was doing better than ever in the gym - lifting heavier and with more energy than before. I attribute that to dropping meat.
Will you ever get any better at posting entries more regularly?
Nope.
But-
Ok, well, hang on. I suppose I will have more opportunities to write on here in the coming weeks/months thanks to the lockdowns and stay-at-home orders sweeping the nation to combat COVID.
So… yes, I will make a point to try more regularly to write.
So that’s that. That’s where I’m at right now with regards to Lyme, COVID, work, home life, etc. Again - compared to hundreds of thousands around the globe right now fighting both Lyme and COVID, I am in a very good place and am counting my blessings. Fingers crossed and knock on wood.
Next entry will probably be out sometime before the end of this week - Corona with a Twist of Lyme - and the Gaga story after that.
Until then!
G